As you can see by the title, I've come up with a list of passengers you may come across on flights. I've been on about 5 flights in the past few weeks, and am about to board one soon. I think I'm fairly accurate. Also, remember that in no way or form am I trying to be rude or offensive. It's all just for laughs.
The Kinds of People on Flights:
- The Technologically Dependent. This person keeps to himself/herself. No wonder! They're either immersed in their favourite TV show episodes, or allowing their earphones to drown the rest out.
- The Seat-kicker. Now, these are one of the most fatal. I've been a victim to a little boy of this nature. So as not to anger his mother, I stayed silent for a good hour. Finally I couldn't take it and asked the boy to stop. He didn't.
- The Obliviously Loud. He/she makes known to everyone how they're feeling. 'HEY DOLLFACE, CAN I HAVE THE CHICKEN SPECIAL. WHAT? YOU'VE RUN OUT?! THAT'S AN OUTRAGE. YOU EXPECT ME TO PAY FOR SOME LOUSY MEATLOAF? WHO RUNS THIS FLIGHT, MAY I SPEAK TO THEM IMME- OOH LOOK ROASTED NUTS. I'LL TAKE THE NUTS.'
- The First-time Flyer. No matter what age this person is, they will be one of two results: excited or afraid. The first would stay glued to the window, enchanted with the view below. The latter, however will encounter all sorts of fear with things in the plane. Adjusting the air conditioning, looking out the window, whether they'll make it alive etc.
- The Keen Adventurer. These people love to travel. And I mean, love. No matter what the cost, they are determined to fulfil their dreams of gliding around the globe. Good on them.
- The Crying Infant. In all my past weeks of flights, a baby/young child is always there. Sure, I don't blame them, but after a while you start to realise there's nothing you can do about it. Then do you truly get annoyed with incessant wailing.
- The Lavaphobist. Oh, this is a good one. I'm one myself. Lavaphobia is the fear of plane toilets. Sounds ridiculous, hey? Try relieving yourself only to sound of an unexpected, flushing blackhole. Gets you every time.
- The Easily Entertained. Well these people have it best. They coo over safety procedures, instruction manuals, meals, seatbelts, the view from the windows etc. Anything you can even think of.
- The Turbulence Enthusiast. These wild ones fistpump at the announcement of impending turbulence. Like me, they're glad that there's finally a little something to shake up their ride.
- The Major Case of Nausea. Apologies to anyone who has ever had to put up with me on a flight. Yes, I'm the nauseous passenger who requires assistance, aromatherapy, extra seats to lie down on and barf-bags. Let me explain my kind of people. Whether we like it or not, we will experience extreme nausea at some point. No, it doesn't stop there. Once we hop off the flight, we're glad we made it without puking once. Only if we're lucky.
- The Weak Bladder. Funny thing actually. Do you ever notice the same person pacing in the aisles, waiting embarrassingly outside the toilets? No? Just me? Oh. Anyway, this pretty much speaks for itself. Somehow when we're in the sky, our bodies demand we bring them to the toilet.
- The Elderly Couple. A lovely sight, for once. There may be numerous of these couples on board; the more, the merrier. They are usually retired and seeking to travel the world. Of course, with their one true love. Sigh, it really warms your heart.
- The Ridiculously Dressed. I saved best for last. Maybe by 'best', I meant most amusing. Usually females, these people will stop at nothing to look overdone. They've got their entire make-up collection piled on, their hair done professionally and uncomfortable outfits. I've seen one lady clad in the tightest mini-dress you could ever imagine. It was strapless, bodycon and stopped short at her butt. How can you even. C'mon, let's be real. We can do practical and stylish, just not that way.