Are you what you want to be?

  Recently, the concept of 'control' has been on my mind. (Also, note my obvious appreciation for green.) Apart from the dinner dance just the other week, children's theatre and driving seminar talks have occupied me. This week has provided a lot more flexible freedom and I've had time to think/question, as I do. From psychic tests and astronomy, to gift sorting and picnic planning/panicking, 'control' has continued to weigh on my mind. Even with the trivialities it seems that control applies to any given circumstance. For someone who complains about a lack of sleep, I could certainly do with better time management. Someone who hates their office job has the will to quit. This applies with everyone; there are situations in which we can forget that we're in charge of. With this revelation comes a promising possibility. It seems that destiny is ours. So before I could ever attempt to achieve anything, I need to figure out where I stand and trust my intuitive actions. 

  Speaking of control, there's the idea of abiding by an otherwordly force. (Like a god or holy figure.) I've been meaning to delve deeper into Buddhism, despite never once having committedly pertained to any religion. It's true, religion hasn't left its convincing imprint on me. I guess I've always had more faith in individuals than the 'upper hand'. (Proof here.) So of course, The School of Life had me even more intrigued - especially in the pursuit of happiness. I've always liked to think happiness is an option, yet there's far more complication. I suppose we all seek nirvana in some way or form. Don't you?

  Undoubtedly, The School of Life has taught me many things. Thanks to one video, I've been lead to the hope that there could be a resolution to my quality of dangerous thinking. Hence, I'm going to expand upon it. It's vital to be open and curious as we (should) never stop learning. The 'noble truths' as I've briefly read up on seem more than universal to me. I can't say I know all that much about Buddhism but in the meantime I'll be reading up on it. In any case, there's a thing or two we can take on board from Buddhism teachings. And as much as I hate to admit my intolerance for school education, I want to keep learning for every day I grace this earth.

  What have your thoughts circulated around recently?


Can we dance now?

  D.D.14.11.14 // Our school dinner dance! A quintessential part of the Year 10 experience, as I'd like to think. In other words, our year hasn't had a single decent social and this would've been impossible to pass up. It became a night to savour, before getting wrapped up in upper school affairs. I had been anxious of any potential mishaps but it all went by seamlessly. (3 hours were not enough!) Of my anticipation, I had a few paramount goals in mind:

1 // Eat my fill - including dessert. 2 // Dance with as many people as possible. 3 // Try not to trip in my Topshop platforms. 4 // Commemorate the formal occasion with photos. 5 // Have a much-needed golden, relaxed night.
  To sum it up, it was a mass semi-formal party with many of my favourites. The buffet was brilliant, too. I accomplished all my intended goals with the exception of #3. Only once, and that was excusable as it was on the dance floor. (Oh and when I carelessly asked Liz to give me a piggyback, sorry Liz.) #4 was carried out with iPhone photos, so please don't mind the quality. These are some of the night's highlights. Surprisingly, the rest of my year group was eager to dance, hence I didn't feel alone on the effervescent party spirit. The DJ's music picks weren't the most tasteful but that's alright. #2 was still executed well. What a great way to commence the start of formals, to celebrate our years in high school thus far. 
  It was actually my first proper time getting all done up - think hair, make-up and heels - but I warmed up to it fairly well. I had a lovely lady called Catherine help me out with curling my hair and minimal makeup, which I even hated to say goodbye to when getting un-ready. I felt a bit anxious and out of my element at first, until I arrived and received numerous compliments. I soon was exuding confidence and I honestly couldn't get over how great everyone looked! I also got henna done by an amazing girl who I used to go to primary school with. My look for the night came together as Indian-esque - with gorgeous henna, Pearl's gifted bangles from India and bright tangerine as a centre-piece. I'm really quite happy I went with my choices. Again, I'm incredibly content with the amazing vibe thanks to the convivial crowd all around with me.


The hours.

  Amongst the others, you waver. To coexist harmoniously without fault is what it appears to be. You are a lone, weakening plant. You are a single teardrop in a sea of others. You resent the dreamy blue skimming the surface. You are nothing more than a cog in flawless machinery. The turning of gears rustles you inside. You feel utterly betrayed by the security of numbers.

  All you need is an escape. At least you do, on occasion. Soon it becomes all you can think of. The hours file by in a repetitive fashion and you feel pulled in all directions. Your liquid woes build up inside of you. You stare at their faces, into defeat. With every step your brave demeanor comes crumbling down. You keep your silence. And finally, you let it all out.


Don't hold me back.

  It has, and will be, a period of countless endeavours. My English and history exams have been conclusive of grimacing hours, resulting in limp writing hands. I'm just very well glad they're over! There are still a bunch of assignments and matters to triumph over - getting my L's, increasing pressure children's theatre costuming/rehearsals, preparing for the dinner dance, gift shopping, video assignments, suppressing tears and all-new prioritising of people - so here's a big, breathless hello to 16.

  I know the apparent busiest days have yet to come - also known as, my senior years of high school. I might as well savour my time now; hence I shall. It's been lots of looking forward to the future, but I've reminded myself to breathe and enjoy the now. Also, take care of yourself - as my fellow blogger Bella advises. (Let her talk some sense into you.)

  And you should, too. Hoping on everyone's behalf, that November has been pleasant thus far!


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